Think Positive.... .... (Humour)

A Lady Teacher was having trouble with one of her students in 1st Grade class.

Madam asked,'Boy. What is your problem?'

 

Boy answered, 'I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the third-grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 4th Grade!'

 

Madam took the Boy to the principal's office. While the Boy waited in the outer office, madam explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Madam he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his Questions he had to go back to the first-grade. Madam agreed.

 

The Boy was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.

 

Principal: 'What is 3 x 3?'
Boy.: '9'.

 

Principal: 'What is 6 x 6?'
Boy.: '36'.

 

And so it went with every question the principal thought a 4th grade should know. The principal looks at Madam and tells her, 'I think Boy can go to the 4th grade.'

 

Madam says to the principal, 'I have some of my own questions'.

 

'Can I ask him ?' The principal and Boy both agreed.

 

Madam asks,

 

1)'What does a cow have four of that I have only two of'?

Boy, after a moment 'Legs.'

 

Madam:

2)'What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?'

Boy.: 'Pockets.'

 

Madam:

3) What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, Delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?

Boy.: Coconut

 

Madam:

4)What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft And sticky?

The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer, Boy was taking charge.

Boy.: Bubblegum

 

Madam:

6)What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?

The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer..

Boy.: Shake hands

 

Madam:

7)You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do.

Boy.: Tent

 

Madam:

8)A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first.

The Principal was looking restless, a bit tense and took one large Patiala Vodka peg.

Boy.: Wedding Ring

 

Madam:

9)I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good.

Boy.: Nose

 

Madam:

10)I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.

Boy.: Arrow

 

Madam:

11)What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' that means lot of heat and excitement?

Boy.: Fire truck

 

Madam:

12)What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' & if u don't get it, u have to use ur hand.

Boy.: Fork

 

Madam:

13)What is it that all men have one of it's longer on some men than on others, the pope doesn't use his and a man gives it to his wife after they're married?

Boy.: SURNAME.

 

Madam:

14)What part of the man has no bone but has muscles, has lots of veins, like pumping, & is responsible for making love ?

Boy.: HEART.

 

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher,

'Send this Boy to IIT DELHI

I got the last ten questions wrong myself...... ....!!!!! !!!!'

.

ghg

Men Brain Vs Women Brain

OF COURSE , THERE ARE EXCEPTIONAL CASES ALWAYS
 
Women - Multiple process
 Women's brians designed to concentrate multiple task at a time.

Women can Watch a TV and Talk over phone and cook the new receips.
Men - Single Process
Men's brain designed to concentrate only one work at a time. Men can not watch a TV and talking in phone same time. He stops the TV while Talking. He can either watch TV or talk over phone or cook.
 
 
ANALYTICAL SKILL
Men's brain has lot of space for handling the analytical process. So easily he can analyze and find the solution for a process.
He can design (blue print) a map of a building easily.
If a complex map is viewed by women, she can not understand it. She can not understand the details of the map easily.
For her it is dump of lines in a paper.
 
CAR DRIVING.
While driving a car, men's analytical spaces are used in his brain. He can drive a car fastly. if he see an object at long
distance, immediately his brain classifies the object(bus or van or car) direction and speed of the object and driving accordingly. Where as women take a long time to recognise the object direction/ speed. His single process mind stops the audio in the car(if any), then concentrating only on the driving.
You can offen watch, while men driving the car fastly, the women sit next to him will shoult, "GO SLOW" , "CARE FULL", "AAHHH", "OHH GOD.." ..etc..
WOMEN ARE THE BEST DRIVERS
 

LIE
Many times, when men lie to women face to face, they got caught easily. Her super natural brain observe the facial expression 70%, and the body language 20% and the words comes from mouth 10%. So he is easily caught while lieing.
Men's brain does not have this.
Women easily lie to men face to face.
So guys, While lieing to your girls, use phone, or letter or close all the lights or cover your/her face with blanket.
Don't lie face to face.
 
PROBLEM.
End of day, if men have lot of problems, his brain clearely classifys the problems and put into individual rooms of brain, the problems in individual room of brain and finding the solution one by one. You can see many guys looking on the sky's for a long times. If you disturb him, he gets irritated.
End of Day, if women have lot of problems, her brain can not clasify the problems. she wants some one to hear that. After telling everything to a person she goes happily to bed. She does not worry abt the problem solved or not.
 
LANGUAGE.
Women can easily learn many languages. Her brain set up. But can not find the solutions to problems
Men can not easily learn languages, he can easily solve the problems.
3 year old gal has three times higher vocabulary than 3 year old boy.
MEN
Men want status, success, solutions, big process… etc
Women want relationship, friends, family...etc…
 
UNHAPPY
if women are unhappy with their relations, she can not concentrate on work.
If men are unhappy with their work, he can not concentrae on the relations.
 
MAP
Men can easily locate the place in a complex map. His analytical brain does this. While watching a cricket match in a stadium with full of crowd, men can leave his seat to T shop and keeps everything in his mind and comes back to his seat with out problems. He uses his analytical skills space of brain.
Women can't do this. They offen lost their way to their seat.
 
LIFE
Life is very easy to Men. One good job, One alcohol bottle is enough for him.
Women want everything in life.
 
SPEECH
Women use indirect languages in speech.
Geetha asked Vijay, "vijay do you like to have a cup of cofee?"
This means, Geetha really want a cup of cofee.    
In the morning..... .."do you think, will it be good to have an Omlette for breakfast"
Men use direct language. "Geetha, I want to have a cup of cofee, Pls stop the car when you see a cofee shop".
In the morning...." Can you please prepare an omlette for breakfast".
 
HANDLING EMOTION
Women talk a lot without thinking, if they are in emotion.
Men act a lot with out thinking. Thats why many of prisons are men all over the world.  

Welcome to My blog.

Firstly Welcome to My Blog .
Now Let me introduce myself.
I'm Anand, I'm a 1st yr B.Tech student,i study in GPMCE (As most of u don't know,It's Guru PremSukh Memorial College of Engineering ) in CSE branch.My college came under IPU university(n i.e.Indraprastha University).In past few days i was reading some blog n i must say i really like them so,i like to make one, n here it's in front of u.Hope u'll like it.