It's murder of English language. But Too Funny. Just Read It.
The Leave Applications; )
Infosys, Bangalore : An employee applied for leave as follows:

"Since I have to go to my  village to sell my land along with my wife, please sanction me one-week leave."

 

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·           This is from Oracle Bangalore: >From an employee who was performing the "mundan" ceremony of his 10 year old son:

"as I want to shave my son's head, please  leave me for two days.."

 

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·           Another gem from  CDAC. Leave-letter from an employee who was performing his daughter's wedding:
"as I am marrying my daughter, please grant a week's leave..."

 

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·           From H.A.L.  Administration Dept:
"As my mother-in-law has expired and I am only one responsible for it, please grant me 10 days  leave."

 

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·           Another employee applied for half day  leave as follows:
"Since I've to go to the cremation ground at  10  o-clock and I may not return, please grant me half  day casual leave"

 

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·           An incident of a leave  letter:
"I am suffering from fever, please declare one-day holiday."

 

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·           A leave letter to the headmaster:
"As I am studying in this school I am suffering from headache. I request  you to leave me today"

 

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·           Another leave letter written to the  headmaster:  
"As my headache is paining, please grant me  leave  for the  day."

 

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·           Covering note:  
"I am enclosed  herewith...."

 

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·           Another  one:
"Dear Sir: with reference to the above, please refer to my below...."

 

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·           Actual letter written for  application of leave:
"My wife is suffering from sickness and as I  am  her only husband at home I may be granted leave".

 

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·           Letter writing:-  
"I  am well here and hope you are also in the same well."

 

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·           A candidate's job application:
"This has reference to your advertisement calling  for  a ' Typist and an Accountant - Male or Female'... As I am both(!! )for  the past several years and I can handle both with  good experience, I  am applying for the  post.

The scariest video you have ever watched in the name of science

Perfect Marriage

RED SKELTON'S Recipe for the Perfect Marriage:

1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship.
She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.

2. We also sleep in separate beds.
Hers is in California , and mine is in Texas ..

3. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.

4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.
So I suggested the kitchen.

5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker.
She said "There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair.

7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburetor.
I asked where the car was. She told me, "In the lake."

8. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days.
Then the mud fell off.

9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" The driver said, "No, jump in!".

10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.

11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was 'Always'.

12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her.

13. The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust!".